Top Groom Tips To Feel Relaxed, Confident and Actually Enjoy Being Photographed on Your Wedding Day
A conversation between Sunshine Coast photographers Lou O’Brien and Antonio
If you’ve ever been in front of my camera, you already know my number one mission. Keep you relaxed, keep things natural and make the whole experience fun. And while brides often walk in with a Pinterest board and a plan, the grooms… well… they’re a whole different vibe.
So for this blog, I wanted to bring in the big guns. A male photographer’s perspective.
I sat down with my friend and fellow Sunshine Coast wedding photographer Antonio to chat all things groom preparation, confidence, awkwardness, nerves, posing and how to get the best photos possible without feeling like you’re in a photoshoot.
Between the two of us, we’ve photographed hundreds of grooms. We’ve seen every personality, every comfort level and every “please tell me this will be quick” expression. And we’ve learned what actually works.
Helping Even the Shyest Groom Shine in Front of the Camera
Let’s be honest… at every wedding, whether it’s a bride and groom, two brides or two grooms, there’s always one person who suddenly forgets how to use their face the moment a camera appears. And nine times out of ten, it’s one of the grooms. Bless them. But here’s the thing… you both deserve to shine on your wedding day, not just the partner who’s secretly been practising poses in the bathroom mirror. In my chat with Antonio, we peel back the mystery, share our best photographer secrets, and show you exactly how we help even the shyest groom relax, feel confident and walk away with photos you’ll both absolutely love looking back on. It’s easier than you think, and honestly… a whole lot of fun.
The Three Types of Grooms (According to Two Photographers Who’ve Seen It All)
When I asked Antonio to break down the kinds of grooms he sees, we both laughed because we’ve photographed the exact same types.
1. The Groom Who Wants Great Photos… But Doesn’t Feel Natural in Front of the Camera
This is the most common type we both see. The groom wants the photos to look good, doesn’t want to let his partner down, but the thought of posing makes him feel stiff or awkward.
Antonio says the biggest thing is TRUST. Trust your photographer, trust the process and trust that we know how to make you look good without trying too hard.
He loves showing a couple of back-of-camera previews early on. The moment the groom sees himself looking cool and relaxed, the whole energy shifts.
I’m exactly the same. Whenever I arrive at groom prep and we’ve already done an engagement shoot together, you can see the nerves drop instantly. It feels like catching up with a mate, not a photo session.
2. The Groom Who Loves Photos (And Isn’t Afraid to Show It)
We both agreed these grooms are a dream. They’re confident, they’re prepared and they often come with ideas.
Antonio said he loves when a groom leans in and has fun with it. And I’m right there with him. When the groom’s energy is high, it lifts the whole bridal party and the photos are magic.
3. The Groom Who Would Prefer Zero Photos, Thank You Very Much
Ah yes. We’ve both met this man many times. The groom who doesn’t like photos, doesn’t want photos and only does them because his partner insists.
Antonio shared something really touching during our chat. When he got married years ago, he didn’t want groom prep photos and asked his photographer to skip them. Now, he regrets it.
He said, “I really wish my photographer pushed me a bit. Those photos would mean a lot to me now.”
We both see this all the time. And this is where we step in as photographers to gently guide you, keep things quick and fun, and give you something meaningful that you’ll appreciate long after the day.
And honestly, I love having a bit of cheeky fun with my grooms because if I can get you laughing and enjoying the moment, not only does it make my job so much easier, but you’ll surprise yourself and realise it’s actually one of the funnest parts of your whole day.
Engagement Photos: The Warm-Up Every Groom Needs
If there’s one thing we were completely aligned on, it’s this: An engagement shoot is the secret weapon for camera-shy grooms.
We’ve both seen grooms arrive nervous and leave relaxed. Within fifteen minutes, you forget the camera is even there.
And then on the wedding day, everything just flows. No awkwardness. No “what do I do with my hands?” Just natural, confident photos with someone you’re already comfortable with.
Why Groom Prep Photos Matter (Even If You Think They Don’t)
Both of us hear this line all the time: “Don’t worry about groom prep. There’s nothing to photograph.”
But here’s the truth from two photographers who’ve seen it all: groom prep is full of moments your partner will absolutely treasure.
Things like:
• laughs with your groomsmen
• the nerves and excitement
• buttoning shirts and doing ties
• the details your partner lovingly chose
• the story of your morning
It’s not about posing. It’s about memory-keeping.
Future you will be so glad you didn’t skip it.
The Best Part About This Chat? Two Photographers, One Goal
As we chatted, Antonio and I realised we approach grooms with the exact same intention.
Keep the energy relaxed.
Keep things natural.
Make everything easy.
Because when the groom feels good, the whole wedding day feels better.
Antonio’s Final Word: The Tip That Had Me Laughing
Antonio’s last piece of advice to the grooms absolutely cracked me up. After all our heartfelt chat about nerves, confidence and capturing meaningful moments, he wrapped it up with three little words that only a man, a husband and a photographer could deliver with such honesty: “Suck it up!” I couldn’t stop laughing. It was the perfect mix of cheeky and true, because at the end of the day, the photos matter, the moments matter and sometimes you just need to lean in, have a laugh and let us work our magic.
Want More Groom Tips? Listen to the Episode
If you haven’t listened yet, Episode 10 of Pop The Question is full of great advice for grooms from both the male and female photographer perspective.
It’s a fun, honest chat that will make your wedding day feel so much easier.👉Photography tips for Grooms
Planning Your Sunshine Coast Wedding?
Hey, I’m Lou O’Brien - long-time local and wedding photographer behind Pop the Question! I’ve photographed hundreds of beautiful Sunshine Coast weddings and love helping couples plan their dream day with ease.
If you’re planning a Sunshine Coast wedding and want photos that feel natural, fun and full of personality, I’d love to chat. Whether you’re local or planning your day from afar, you can always reach out online. Antonio and I are all about helping grooms feel confident, relaxed and actually enjoy the photo experience, so if you want the same for your day, let’s connect and start creating something you’ll both love looking back on.
📷You can view my packages here - Wedding Photography Packages
🎧 Want more wedding wisdom? See all Pop the Question episodes here
📘 Download my FREE Sunshine Coast Wedding Planning Guide - it’s full of local tips and insider advice to help you plan with confidence.
Antonio’s insight gives you a genuine male perspective on what grooms need, what actually helps on the day and how to make the whole experience feel relaxed instead of overwhelming. If you’d like to check out more of his work or learn from his approach, you can find him here:
Website: https://photographywithantonio.com/
👍 Keep up with Pop The Question & me, Lou O’Brien – Sunshine Coast Wedding Photographer:
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Full show notes - https://www.imagesbylouobrien.com/pop-the-question
Episode Transcript
Lou (00:00)
This week popped the question, I have a real treat. I have fellow photographer with me, Antonio. Antonio and I were introduced earlier this year through a mutual friend and we ended up doing a photography challenge roaming the streets of the Maroochydore CBD, which was so much fun. I had an absolute blast.
Now, Antonio says he's just a dude with a camera, but trust me, he's underselling it. So today, I wanted to bring on a male photographer's perspective and share some solid advice for all of our grooms out there, because honestly, they do get overlooked sometimes, and it's absolutely their day too. So guys, if you're a little camera shy or just want to feel your best self in photos, you're going to love this chat.
Antonio (00:45)
Everyone's frozen. I can't hear anything. You're frozen. I don't know if I'm frozen for you.
Lou (00:51)
So let's jump in.
Hi, Antonio. How are you today? Yeah, good. Very good. I'm excited that wedding season is winding down for the year.
Antonio (00:55)
I'm great, how are you?
Yes, I've got two weddings left and then I'm done for 2025. My last wedding is on Christmas Eve, which is very... Yeah.
Lou (01:09)
Christmas Eve. I actually had a Christmas
Eve wedding a couple of years ago. I actually really enjoyed it. It was a small wedding, so it was fun.
Antonio (01:17)
I reckon it'll be fun. Yeah, mine's,
if we've got a micro wedding, ceremony starts at 5.30 which is a little late, but I think it's because all their families are all overseas, so they're all coming together for like a marriage and Christmas family gathering or something. So that's my last wedding.
Lou (01:30)
Yeah,
that's the same reason why mine was on Christmas Eve. I think I had people from England, Canada, New Zealand. Yeah, so was a two for one deal, can you just tell us maybe a little bit about yourself, how you got into photography?
Antonio (01:37)
Mmm.
It is.
So, I'm Antonio, still, that hasn't changed. I initially started like a lot of photographers as a hobby and I sort of like a lot of gear and I was like, oh, look at this camera with this new specs and I would be interested in saving up and buying cool cameras that did things, good autofocus, good low light performance. It really fascinated me and I took photos of insects and rocks. I tried a little bit of macro photography and then stuff with off-camera flash and kind of did all the experimentation. And then I...
did a couple paid jobs for some headshots for some friends and acquaintances, and then I did some studio work for some brands, and I ended up getting into branding and product photography. did that probably the most. I didn't enjoy it as much as just doing hobby photography of things I wanted to at the time. It was very sterile environments and clean, and any speck of dust on the white floors of studios had to be edited out.
And then one day I took a photo of a couple. It was like a little engagement session type thing and I thought it was really fun. They had a heap of fun looking at the photos. I could tell they had a heap of fun. had a heap of fun just looking at the photos, editing them and then sending them off. And then gradually from doing more and more of
those I sort of came into this style that I don't even know how to describe it whatever style I have now and I get couples that book me for that style and just being able to go and be a part of someone's day where they're having fun and everyone's having fun and I get to sort of be myself and couples hire me because of me being myself which I really like
Lou (03:17)
Yeah, I
love that. That's so great. you definitely found your niche.
Antonio (03:20)
Hmm.
Lou (03:23)
Well, Antonio, what I was wanting to do today is to get your perspective from a male photographer's point of view, because all of our grooms out there sometimes get left out. It's always about the bride, everything with the bride. And today, I mean, I love shooting groom prep, but I think definitely coming from
the male perspective, I would love to hear what your tips are for our grooms out there, how they can like feel relaxed and confident in front of the camera
Antonio (03:52)
Okay.
There's three types of grooms that I've come across and I seem to get like all of them. The most common is going to be someone who wants to have nice photos but isn't really comfortable in front of a camera. The other type of groom is someone who wants nice photos and is totally comfortable in front of the camera. Maybe they work with cameras in their job or something. And then the other type of groom is one that doesn't really care about the photos and doesn't really want photos and doesn't like being in front of a camera, which is the most annoying kind. You grooms, I'm looking at you. So how I deal with each of those,
Lou (04:14)
Yeah.
Antonio (04:20)
is the first type which is the type of groom that really wants nice photos but isn't necessarily comfortable in front of the camera. I find that my best tips for grooms
if you trust the process of your photographer, every photographer has their own way of getting different grooms comfortable because they will recognise you as a groom, what type you are and figure out the best way to make you comfortable. and let whichever photographer you've chosen do their thing. In terms of photographing grooms like that,
Lou (04:33)
Yes.
Antonio (04:46)
I often like to encourage them and show them how easy it is by actually getting them to do it, how fast it is. A lot of them don't like the duration that it takes to like be behind on the other side of the camera and have a camera
Lou (04:59)
Yes.
Antonio (04:59)
pointed at them, so I find that showing them that it's actually really fast, they don't even notice that it's already done, and then you can even, depending on what type of photographer you are, can show them photos on the back of your screen, be like, hey, look how fricking cool you look. And that usually helps their confidence as well.
Lou (05:12)
Yeah. Yeah.
I actually like to recommend an engagement photo shoot because they'll be willing to have that and maybe get all the nerves out. And I do find on the wedding day, they're like, hey, Antonio, or hey, Lou, you're here. And they're so much more relaxed because
Antonio (05:19)
totally, yeah.
doing this again.
Yeah, no, that's a good one. I totally forgot that. do that too. I do engagement shoots with my couples and they, it's usually the groom or the male fiance generally is, or I suppose anyone that's uncomfortable in front of a camera. In the first 15 minutes of shooting, it's different because you don't have a camera pointed at you. But then after that 15 minutes passes, I can see everyone loosening up and it makes it so much better.
And doing that engagement shoot, you said, Lou is super important because it just helps get rid of those nerves and I would recommend that for any couple really. ⁓ The other type of groom, yeah.
Lou (05:56)
Absolutely.
Yeah. And what about the second type of groom? What were they
again? What was...
Antonio (06:09)
So the
second type of groom is one that likes having cameras in front of them and loves having photos. And I don't see many grooms like that, but it is something that I have seen. And honestly, that's the, you don't really have to worry about anything if you're that type of groom, because your photographer will read you and know when to take what kinds of photos, in what way to get what you want. So if you're that type of groom, I mean, good for you.
Lou (06:34)
on your ⁓ second type of groom that you're talking about, one of the things that I love is to bring them into it a bit and go, hey, do you have any ideas of what you'd like? Like, if they're into it, they kind of bring it up another level, don't they? They're like, ⁓ this, that, like.
Antonio (06:37)
Yeah, yeah.
yes, yeah yeah.
They do. A lot of them do
it themselves too.
Lou (06:52)
Yeah. Yeah.
Antonio (06:52)
Yeah, like
they just, they know what kind of photos they want in their mind. They've already got stuff prepared. Like when I arrive to a wedding and I'm doing the prep photos, I usually see the groom first and then the bride. I find that a lot of the grooms won't even be ready. They'll just be like, you know, in their underwear, they won't have any like details of anything they want photos of. I've sort of got to set everything up. Whereas when you go to the bride, there's like details in a nice spot. They've already tried to lay them out in a way that they think that you might like and they'll have things ready to go. They're very organised.
but a lot of the time grooms aren't and you can tell when a groom is into it because he'll have like the cufflinks ready everything's ready he's like half-dressed ready to go he might even show you like some inspiration photos I find that I don't mind that honestly if you if you've seen a type of photo that you really like and you want your photographer to take that you could just screenshot that and show them be like hey can we take something like this if it's within their scope of work I'm sure they'd be able to do it
Lou (07:32)
Ha
Yes.
Yes, yeah, great point. Okay, number three, what was the third?
Antonio (07:48)
The number three.
It's my favorite type of groom. The ones who don't really care for the photos, they don't really wanna be there and they don't like being in front of the camera. I don't often have grooms like this, but honestly, this, I don't know, it might be controversial, but you just gotta suck it up. I think if you don't wanna be there, then why are you getting married in the first place? You gotta be there for the day. It's for you two together. Just show your appreciation to your bride that you're going to be marrying, that you are also willing to make these wedding photos and wedding
Lou (08:08)
Yeah.
Yes.
Antonio (08:20)
gallery good because they're not just photos for you. fact, I say, because a lot of couples say like, we don't need preparation photos. We don't need photos of us individually. I say that it's really for each other. The preparation photos aren't for you to have yourself. It's a gift of your own perspective of your part of getting ready in the day to give to your partner. So when you're both looking through your wedding gallery for the first time on the couch, once your photographer has sent it to you, you can see each
each other's perspectives from the beginning. So it's really a gift for each other and if you work together and make that good it'll make it so much better. But in the end just suck it up if you're that kind of groom.
Lou (08:52)
I love that.
Yes, such a great perspective.
I find with those types of grooms for me, I go quite cheeky with them. And I'm like, hey, you want to drink? Or I find out what they're into. if they like cars or if they are into whatever, like fishing or something like that, I'll just dive deep and.
Antonio (09:06)
Mmm.
Lou (09:21)
find something cheeky to talk to them about. And I do lots of promises. I'll go, I promise this bit will only be three minutes and then you can have a break. Or this bit will be one minute.
Antonio (09:30)
Yeah, Sometimes I'll...
If I see a groom for the first time and I haven't done an engagement shoot or anything with them and their partner, I'll sometimes just be like, all right, on a scale of one to 10, how much do you hate photos? And they'll be like, 10. I hate photos so much. They're the worst thing. And I'm like, when was the last time you had pro photos done? And they're like, never. And I'm like, you don't know then. ⁓ Like, I just like to get... Yeah, yeah.
Lou (09:51)
Yeah, but I love your point of
I was just saying, sorry, I love your point of view, how you're saying the photos are for your partner, like, just, you know, and as you said, suck it up. I love that, that you can actually, as a guy, you can say that to guys, just suck it up.
Antonio (10:00)
a gift for each other.
Yeah,
yeah. As a past groom, I remember I actually didn't have any photos done.
of my own prep for my own wedding. I, we booked our photographer for four hours and it was like bride prep, ceremony, couple portraits, and like a little bit of a fake reception at the beginning, like a little fake entrance we did. That was it. We were like, yep, we don't really need that much. I can't remember anything from my wedding day. The only things I remember is if I look at the photos that we have, I don't remember what I did. I remember playing cards probably with my groomsmen. That was it. And I wish we had photos. And the only reason we told our photographer that we didn't want photos is because I
Lou (10:18)
wow.
Yeah.
Antonio (10:44)
thought they weren't important because I didn't want those photos for myself. But now that I look back at them, it would have been great for my now wife to have those photos because I got to see her photos of her getting ready and I wish that I had something that I could show her of me getting ready. That's what I think.
Lou (10:57)
Yeah, yeah.
that's I love how you've got your own reflection on that to give the advice.
Antonio (11:04)
And like,
I wish that my photographer just said, Antonio, suck it up, I'm taking photos of you, because you'll love them in five, 10 years time. In the moment, I wouldn't have believed her, but I just wish my photographer did that to me. So that's where my perspective's coming from.
Lou (11:16)
Yeah.
Yeah, love that. Okay, well, thank you so much. Those tips are amazing. And I love your three types of grooms there. So the next part of our podcast is pop the question. So in my trusty little camera that I have here, I have a mystery wedding theme question for you, Antonio. I hope you're ready. one wants to fall out. I've got to get that one that wanted to fall out. And I've just got them all in there.
Antonio (11:37)
scared.
I'm gonna conjure
up my most controversial answer.
Lou (11:44)
I want you to be cheeky. Okay. okay. What is the most impressive cake you've seen at a wedding? Or you could talk anything cakes, anything cakes, any controversy feeding each other.
Antonio (11:52)
A lot of them are pretty boring to be honest. Anything cakes, impressive cakes.
Honestly, a lot of couples are skipping cakes lately.
Lou (12:03)
Yeah?
Antonio (12:03)
They're
like you still get cakes, but they're all just like minimalistic at least of the cakes that I get You know, they're like the three teared cake or it's like a fake cake the half of its real or something So they don't have to pay for as much because they have less guests, but they still want a big looking cake Or it's just like a massive pizza Like I remember I shot It wasn't a big it was an elopement But it was a micro wedding because there was more than just the the witnesses there, but there was no cake actually There was a cake I lie, but the cake was purely just for decoration
Lou (12:20)
yes.
Antonio (12:31)
It was like a love heart shaped cake with like glittery cherries on it and the bride got that specifically just for the vibes of the photos and I was like heck Yeah, that's cool. So they didn't get the cake because they wanted to eat it and have a traditional sort of everyone eats cake It was just like this will look really cool in photos So we're get that the actual cake was this giant pizza that they got and that was the thing that they they sort of ate together in the way that you would normally eat a cake whereas the cake was brought out it was
Lou (12:38)
yes.
⁓ Yeah, was it a dessert pizza?
Antonio (12:58)
It was, no, no, so it was a regular pizza. So this is the weird thing is they had a cake and they had a pizza, which sounds really confusing. Normally like after dinner, you go and you like cut the cake and then everyone gets a piece of the cake. That wasn't a thing. It was, the cake was purely just for photos. And I think I ate the most of it, to be honest. I took a heap of it home with me because no one else wanted any. The couple didn't really eat it. The cake was literally just for photos. The pizza was like the main thing. The pizza was like,
Lou (13:01)
⁓ okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, that's a win for you.
Antonio (13:26)
this is our first pizza cut, we'll do the kiss after the pizza cut and then it was just a re- it was like a pepperoni or something and ⁓ everyone ate the pizza as if it was like the cake and the cake was really just like a here's some cool photos of a cake that's it it was really just for photos that's
Lou (13:33)
okay. Very different.
Interesting. I've
actually got, you've just reminded me of a funny cake story. This was a few years ago now. Similar thing, didn't have a dessert cake. They had the different cheese wheels on top stacked. It was amazing. I was like, my God, I want this. It had grapes coming down and all this. And we're like, my God, it's so good. Anyway, I thought, I wanted to take a photo before anyone was around it.
Antonio (13:56)
that's cool. ⁓ actually, yeah.
Lou (14:07)
It was at a private property and then we went out to do some photos and then all I hear is, no! I hear people screaming like, what the hell? So run over, the dog has taken the biggest chunk out of the side of the cake. It was the funniest thing. So I did get a pre-photo and then we got some really funny photos with the dog eating the cheese cake. So yeah.
Antonio (14:21)
no...
That's funny.
the missing chunk. man.
See nothing really interesting like that happens at the weddings I do. The cakes are just like a pretty standard like, it's just a three teared cake, they cut it, they eat it. It's nothing, it's what you'd expect. ⁓
Lou (14:43)
it's...
I do have a
couple more years on you, so maybe in a couple more years you'll get it. Yeah.
Antonio (14:49)
Yeah, this is only like my fourth year doing it. So I haven't seen that many cakes. That was fun.
Are we allowed to do two questions? I want another one. That was good.
Lou (14:58)
No, that's it. But maybe I'll get you on another time. That's all right. OK,
so we are just about to finish off the podcast. So to wrap it up, I always love to give our listeners a couple of tips that they can take away from the podcast. talking to the grooms, we've got our three types of grooms. Can you give me one tip for each style of groom?
is uncomfortable.
Antonio (15:21)
So you wanna have nice photos
but you're uncomfortable in front of the camera. That's the first one. Trust, terrible tip, but just trust the process, because your photographer will read you and know how to get you what you want.
Lou (15:31)
Tip
one also I reckon is the engagement photo shoot.
Antonio (15:35)
⁓ engagement shoot, yes, that's number one. Group number two, you love having photos taken and you want some cool photos and you love being in front of the camera. Just be you, whatever you want. Show us what you want, we'll get it. Group number three, you don't wanna be there, you don't want photos, you don't like being in front of the camera. Suck it up, that's your problem.
Lou (15:37)
You
I love that. Suck it up.
Let's put that on our website. For all the grooms suck it up.
Antonio (15:58)
Yeah.
Lou (15:58)
Okay, well, Antonio, thank you so much for coming today on the podcast. Can you just tell us where the listeners can find you on the social?
Antonio (16:06)
So if you're a couple and you want photos taken, you can find me at photographywithantonio. And if you're a photographer wanting to see more photography stuff, antonio_pics, pics underscore is where you can find me there. On all the platforms, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, it's probably somewhere else. That's everything.
Lou (16:24)
⁓
Perfect. Well, thank you so much again. Thanks everyone for listening in. That's it for today's Pop the Question. You can find all of Antonio's details and show notes on my website, which is imagesbylouobrien.com/pop_the_question Thanks again, Antonio. This has actually been so much fun. I've really enjoyed talking to you. Thanks for coming today. Okay, bye.
Antonio (16:48)
Me too, thanks for having me on.
Podcast link - Photography tips for Grooms